THE RACCOON FAMILY CHRONICLES

EPISODE 1: Snooper Breaks A Leg

[It is a nice and sunny afternoon in Toonsville. Two little bluebirds fly down to an old oak tree and perch on one of its branches, singing a cheerful melody. Standing below the tree is Sunshine Raccoon, who is flying her red heart-shaped kite]

Sunshine: It's a realy nice day outside, isn't it, Snooper?

Super Snooper: It sure is. And it's getting pretty windy, too.

Sunshine: Daddy bought me this kite yesterday as a housewarming gift. He knew that a heart was my favorite kind of shape and that I loved it as much as peanut butter, so just after we moved in the house he went to the store, and...and...he bought me the kite.

Super Snooper: It just goes to show that your father wanted you to enjoy one the biggest pleasures in life--living in a fancy mansion like this one.

[The kite continues to float in the sky, until it gets close to the tree and gets stuck in it]

Sunshine: [disappointed] Oh, darn! Now my kite's stuck in a tree! [Turns to Snooper] Snoop, can you get my kite out of the tree for me? Please?

Super Snooper: Sunshine, I wouldn't want to go through THAT again. The last time this incident happened I was--

Sunshine: [insistant] PLEASE?

Super Snooper: [after hesitating for a moment] Oh, all right...all right. But this will be the last time I'm going to help you get it down from there. [Goes over to the tree and, using his clws, starts to climb it feline-style] Which one of the branches did the kite get caught on?

Sunshine: That one!

Super Snooper: Where?

Sunshine: The branch to your right...no, I mean, the left one!

[A yellow school bus comes by. Bert II runs out of it and heads for the house. Inside the house, Wren is in Morgan's bedroom. Her son has just had a cold]

Wren: [putting her paw on his forehead] I never knew a cold could get this worse. You've been suffering for almost a few days now. [Removes it] And about your sore throat...

Morgan: [with a scratchy voice] Will I ever get better again?

Wren: Someday you will, sweetheart. You have to miss your first day of school because of the cold. I don't know when you will get back on track, but we'll see. [Gets up to leave] Now, where did I put that cough medicine?

[She is about to enter the bathroom in the hallway when she bumps into Bert II]

Bert II: [excitedly] Mom! Mom! Guess what? I just got an "A+" for the--

Wren: [clamping a paw over his mouth] KEEP IT DOWN! {Whispers] Your little half-brother's trying to get some rest.

Bert II: Why?

Wren: He has a cold.

Bert II: A cold? How come I didn't have a cold?

Wren: You've been immunized before we entered you into your new school, remember?

Bert II: Oh...I understand. Say, Mom--when I DO get a cold, can I stay home all day?

Wren: But--

Bert II: And can I eat ice cream and play video games while I'm sick?

Wren: No, Bert II. I know you're trying to pretend to be sick--I've seen many kids do that same trick before. When you really start having a cold--

Bert: [running in excitedly] Wren! Guess what? I just got a raise! Ralph and Melissa said that I--

Wren: [irritated] Bert! Be quiet!

Bert: What do you mean--[Realizes something] Oh, I know--Morgan's sick.

Wren: I had to take him back home after he threw up in Mrs. Ferguson's class this morning.

Bert: I see. [Continues happily] I know exactly what I'm going to do with all this money--starting tomorrow, I'm going to take the whole family to the movies to see "Hotel for Dogs"!

Wren: [smiling] Wow! That sounds like a really nice movie.

Bert: And I'm sure the kids will love it.

[Suddenly, they heard a loud cry from Snooper outside]

Wren: Uh-oh, what's going on? [They run outside and see Snooper sprawled on the ground next to the tree] Snoop! Are you all right?

Super Snooper: [groaning] Uhhhhhh...I'm fine...I just broke a leg...

Wren: [coming over to Snooper's side] Let me see. [Picks up one of legs] Does this hurt?

Super Snooper: No.

Wren: How about this one? [Picks up the other leg. Snooper yells in pain]

Super Snooper: OW! That's the one! Ouch...

Bert: [to Sunshine] What happened?

Sunshine: Snooper was trying to rescue my kite, Daddy. When he had nearly crawled over to the spot where it was, he slipped off and fell, and broke his leg.

Wren: [with a sigh] Well...I guess that means we should cancel the trip to the movie theaters, until Snooper's leg gets better.

Bert: But I had been planning it since the day we decided to move to Toonsville!

Wren: All right. As soon as he is able to get up tomorrow, then we can go.

Bert: That's good thinking.

Rufus: [running outside] What had happened? Is everything all right?

Bert: Yeah, Rufus. The private-eye cat here just broke his leg.

[Later, at Rai's house next door, Wren and Rai are having a conversation over a cup of tea]

Rai: So, how did your day go?

Wren: It was great...at least for a while. I stayed home, because Morgan just caught a cold. And Snoop broke his leg from falling out of a tree, when he was trying to rescue Sunshine's kite, which had been caught onto that same tree. But through all that, I received spectacular news. Rufus got a new job--now he is working as a car salesman. Bert II got an "A+" in elementary school, and Bert earned enough money from working as the editor of the Evergreen Standard--with branches in Los Angeles--so now he's going to take all of us to the movies to see "Hotel for Dogs", but not until Snooper's leg gets better enough for him to walk again. How have things been going on with you and your family? Did anything new happen today?

Rai: My family is doing good. Most of my sons went on a trip to Asia to learn how to make rice cakes, and Eric Cartman II and Man are in Africa to find some friends...nothing new, just the same life with the house to myself, 'cause my husbands are gone on a camping trip....well, just me and some of my friends are having a girls' night out, 'cause if you were the only girl in the house I think you would want a house to yourself.

Wren: That's wonderful. Maybe next week, I'm going to send some of my kids on a trip to Asia. Sunshine wanted to learn how to speak Japanese, that's all. Oh, and I hope Eric II and Man have a good time in Africa finding some new friends. And I also hope your husbands enjoy the camping trip--when they come back, you can tell me what they did there. And of course, I hope you do enjoy your outing with your friends, too. [Takes a sip out of her cup before putting it back down] I'm very interested in knowing about your favorite husband, Disco Bear. When did the two of you meet each other, and how?

Rai: Well, I was in the grocery store, and I bumped into him. We started talking and he asked me out on a date. This was about two months ago, but as soon as I saw him we instantly connected and we got married the next month. How about you and Bert?

Wren: I remember our courtship and marriage very well. You see, it all started about a year ago, when I was at my friend's birthday party in Los Angeles. I was walking around, mingling with the guests, until I found a plate on a table, with the last peanut butter cookie on it. I was about to grab it and eat it, but a black furry paw snatched it away before I could even get to the cookie. I looked up, and there he was...Bert Raccoon, one of the guests at the party, munching on that last cookie. He introduced himself to me, and we had a little talk. Soon, the party was over--we was preparing to go home. Unfortunately, I didn't have enough money for a taxi, so Bert offered to walk me to my house. And just as soon as we got there, we said "goodbye" to each other, and--to my surprise and delight--we shared our first kiss! That was the moment when we started falling in love.

Rai: Wow...

Wren: We dated each other for about three weeks, and then on the day before Valentine's Day, he came to my house with a bouquet of roses. I thanked him for the beautiful floral gift, but then he gave me another gift that I swore I would never forget--he got down on one knee and showed me a little black box that had a diamond ring in it. Then, he proposed to me. We got married the very next day. So, this month, Bert and I are going to celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary. Do you want me to tell you about how I met my very first husband, Super Snooper? And how I met Rufus, too? [Rai stays silent] Well, I'll take that as a "yes". Now, where was I? Oh, yeah...I met Snooper at Knott's Berry Farm. One of my favorite memories was of him getting wet during a rafter ride--and he looked SO cute with his fur all wet! [Laughs] We were married after two months of dating. And I met Rufus while I was on vacation in London, England--we got married just one month after our meeting, and he came all the way to the United States to live with me. So, what do you think?

Rai: I liked the one with Bert better.

Wren: That's okay. Are you planning anything special for your family some time in the future, once they come back? Bert and I are going to take our family over to the movie theater tomorrow.

Rai: Yeah. We are going on a month-long cruise in the summer, but we are going to get a puppy for everyone in our home or just the kids.

Wren: [enthusiastically] Really? That sounds great. I'm planning a family trip for a month-long cruise in the summer, too--maybe we might see each other and we'll have a good time while my kids play with your kids. Sounds like a fun idea, huh?

Rai: Maybe we can be best friends!

Wren: And we'll be neighbors, too! [Gets up to leave] Well, I gotta go settle down for the night. I'll talk to you tomorrow, when we get back from the movie theater, and I'll tell you all about it. Goodnight.

Rai: Goodnight.

[Wren starts to leave the house, but stops]

Wren: Oh, wait! Before I go lay myself down, I want to ask you something. When is little Man's birthday? I would like to give him a present.

Rai: His birthday's March 7th. Thanks--he'll enjoy it.

Wren: Thank you--I won't forget. Anyway, goodnight--I'll talk to you tomorrow. Oh! You've told me that Man's birthday is March 7. Maybe tomorrow I'll list the birthdays of my husbands and my children, so on those dates you'd give them presents. See ya!

Rai: Okay, thanks.

Wren: All right, goodbye. And don't forget to list the birthdays of your husbands and your children, too!

Rai: All right, I won't!

[Wren leaves Rai's house and goes back to her own house. When she arrives at the door, she turns to look at the fence and sighs contentedly]

Wren: I think this may be the first time since Snooper's accident that the cats won't be singing on top of that fence... [Opens the door, comes in, and closes it shut]

END OF EPISODE